Aristophanes' Socrates: I'm living in cloud cuckoo land.
Socrates to Crito: "I'm better off dead."
Plato's Socrates: I'd show them the stars / And the meaning of life /They'd shut me away / But I'd be all right
Aristotelian political theory: "Everybody wants to be a slave."
Augustine: "[D]runken confessions . . . just make you more alone."
Political theory since Aristotle: "Nobody wants to be a slave."
Cartesian scepticism: Is this really happening?
Machiavelli: "All hail to the thief."
Nietzsche: When I am king, you will be first against the wall/With your opinion which is of no consequence at all.
Berkeley to God: "I want you to notice / when I'm not around."
Putnam: I used to think...[that]
Late Wittgenstein: I used to think.
Fallibilism: I might be wrong.
Fallibilism redux: How can you be sure?
Logical Positivism: We're all uptight, uptight, uptight, uptight, uptight.
or: "My thoughts are misguided and a little naïve
Late Logical Positivism: After years of waiting, nothing came/ After years of looking, looking in the wrong place
or: I'm a reasonable man, get off my case
or: Nice dream.
Modal Realism: All my past and futures
or: I think you're crazy, maybe.
Material conditionals: If you'd been a dog/ they would have drowned you at birth.
Gricean semantics: What's that you tried to say?
Ungerian ethics: Pull me out of the lake.
Kripke: Lewis / Save yourself the pain / You'll never get there
Goedel's wife: I eat all day and now I'm fat / Yesterday's meal is hugging the plates / You never wash up after yourself
Turing: He talks in maths.
or: This machine will not communicate.
Kripke on Wittgenstein: "I'd tell all my friends but they'd never believe me."
Roger Scruton: Hey man, slow down.
Logical explosion: I have seen too much/I haven't seen enough/[...]I'll laugh until my head comes off.
Russell to Frege: "Dear Sir, I have a complaint."
Garrett Hardin: "I will lay me down."
Plantinga: "I am born again."
Philosophy of Mind
Qualia realism: There are two colors in my head.
Qualia anti-realism: Just cause you feel it, doesn't mean it's there.
Functionalism: "My brain says I'm receiving pain."
Type-Identity: "Fifteen blows to the back of the head/ Fifteen blows to your mind."
Heidegger: I can feel death, can see its beady eyes
or: nothing touches me.
Phenomenological eidetic investigation: What's this?
Lingis: "Clothes are on the lawn with the furniture."
Bataille: The panic/the vomit/the panic/the vomit.
Althusser: "Hey, idiot!"
Irigaray: "hysterical and useless."
Ayn Rand's inclusion in the philosophy section of bookstores: "I'm a creep, / I'm a weirdo. / What the hell am I doing here? / I don't belong here."